Dealing with Rejection: Job Searching in a Dating Context | BCGSearch.com

Dealing with Rejection: Job Searching in a Dating Context

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Dealing with Rejection: Job Searching in a Dating Context

Rejection. While this isn't my favorite topic to discuss, I think it’s a necessary one. As much as we hope that every effort we make in securing a new position will be positive, it’s often not the case. I thought it might be helpful to discuss a few reasons you may be rejected and the best strategy for dealing with that scenario. In order to make it relatable, I’ll put it in the context of dating. We've all heard these reasons before, right?

  1. It’s not you, it’s me. Just because they decide to pass on your candidacy, it doesn't mean that you are the problem. They may realize that their practice doesn't support your interests within your area of law. Or they may not realize just how fantastic of a candidate you are because you have a non-traditional resume/story. Either way, remember that it’s not personal!

  2. Timing is everything. You might be the right person, just at the wrong time. I've had firms tell me that they wish the candidate had come through just six months earlier because they would be a perfect fit for the group but they recently hired someone with the same level of experience and now need someone with slightly more/less. I’ve also had candidates receive offers at firms that rejected them the previous year. Timing really is everything.

  3. Fear of commitment. There are a few firms in every market that are constantly soliciting resumes and interviewing candidates. But when it comes down to making an offer, they can’t seem to pull the trigger. These are the hardest situations because I often don’t get any good feedback from the firm for my candidate. Recruiters typically know which firms go fishing most often and can give you their insight on them.

  4. There is someone else. This one is a tough pill to swallow, both in the dating and work world. But, at the end of the day, sometimes there is someone else who is just a better fit. It doesn't mean you aren't a great candidate, just that someone else might be better for the particular and present need.

  5. You deserve someone better. This one is probably the most surprising on the list, but it really does happen. If you are coming from a top firm in New York and are interviewing at a ten person firm in suburban Connecticut, they likely are intimidated by your resume. They may think they can’t pay enough or hold your interest long enough and actually might pass because they don’t think they can live up to your expectations.





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As with any break-up, you have to find the best way to deal with the job rejection and use it to your benefit. When a firm decides you aren't the right fit for them, you absolutely cannot get discouraged. It is extremely rare that a candidate doesn't get rejected from a few places before finding a good place to land. Try to take any feedback they give you and improve your resume: sit for a bar exam in that state if you haven’t already; gain exposure to a niche area of law within your practice; learn from any interview mistakes you made; bolster your resume in areas they saw as weakness (take more depositions, pump up your deal list, etc.); and above all try to learn from the experience.


As my mom always says about men: you don’t have to win them all, it just takes one!

About Harrison Barnes

Harrison Barnes is a prominent figure in the legal placement industry, known for his expertise in attorney placements and his extensive knowledge of the legal profession.

With over 25 years of experience, he has established himself as a leading voice in the field and has helped thousands of lawyers and law students find their ideal career paths.

Barnes is a former federal law clerk and associate at Quinn Emanuel and a graduate of the University of Chicago College and the University of Virginia Law School. He was a Rhodes Scholar Finalist at the University of Chicago and a member of the University of Virginia Law Review. Early in his legal career, he enrolled in Stanford Business School but dropped out because he missed legal recruiting too much.

Barnes' approach to the legal industry is rooted in his commitment to helping lawyers achieve their full potential. He believes that the key to success in the legal profession is to be proactive, persistent, and disciplined in one's approach to work and life. He encourages lawyers to take ownership of their careers and to focus on developing their skills and expertise in a way that aligns with their passions and interests.

One of how Barnes provides support to lawyers is through his writing. On his blog, HarrisonBarnes.com, and BCGSearch.com, he regularly shares his insights and advice on a range of topics related to the legal profession. Through his writing, he aims to empower lawyers to control their careers and make informed decisions about their professional development.

One of Barnes's fundamental philosophies in his writing is the importance of networking. He believes that networking is a critical component of career success and that it is essential for lawyers to establish relationships with others in their field. He encourages lawyers to attend events, join organizations, and connect with others in the legal community to build their professional networks.

Another central theme in Barnes' writing is the importance of personal and professional development. He believes that lawyers should continuously strive to improve themselves and develop their skills to succeed in their careers. He encourages lawyers to pursue ongoing education and training actively, read widely, and seek new opportunities for growth and development.

In addition to his work in the legal industry, Barnes is also a fitness and lifestyle enthusiast. He sees fitness and wellness as integral to his personal and professional development and encourages others to adopt a similar mindset. He starts his day at 4:00 am and dedicates several daily hours to running, weightlifting, and pursuing spiritual disciplines.

Finally, Barnes is a strong advocate for community service and giving back. He volunteers for the University of Chicago, where he is the former area chair of Los Angeles for the University of Chicago Admissions Office. He also serves as the President of the Young Presidents Organization's Century City Los Angeles Chapter, where he works to support and connect young business leaders.

In conclusion, Harrison Barnes is a visionary legal industry leader committed to helping lawyers achieve their full potential. Through his work at BCG Attorney Search, writing, and community involvement, he empowers lawyers to take control of their careers, develop their skills continuously, and lead fulfilling and successful lives. His philosophy of being proactive, persistent, and disciplined, combined with his focus on personal and professional development, makes him a valuable resource for anyone looking to succeed in the legal profession.


About BCG Attorney Search

BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive, while achieving results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.

Harrison Barnes does a weekly free webinar with live Q&A for attorneys and law students each Wednesday at 10:00 am PST. You can attend anonymously and ask questions about your career, this article, or any other legal career-related topics. You can sign up for the weekly webinar here: Register on Zoom

Harrison also does a weekly free webinar with live Q&A for law firms, companies, and others who hire attorneys each Wednesday at 10:00 am PST. You can sign up for the weekly webinar here: Register on Zoom

You can browse a list of past webinars here: Webinar Replays

You can also listen to Harrison Barnes Podcasts here: Attorney Career Advice Podcasts

You can also read Harrison Barnes' articles and books here: Harrison's Perspectives


Harrison Barnes is the legal profession's mentor and may be the only person in your legal career who will tell you why you are not reaching your full potential and what you really need to do to grow as an attorney--regardless of how much it hurts. If you prefer truth to stagnation, growth to comfort, and actionable ideas instead of fluffy concepts, you and Harrison will get along just fine. If, however, you want to stay where you are, talk about your past successes, and feel comfortable, Harrison is not for you.

Truly great mentors are like parents, doctors, therapists, spiritual figures, and others because in order to help you they need to expose you to pain and expose your weaknesses. But suppose you act on the advice and pain created by a mentor. In that case, you will become better: a better attorney, better employees, a better boss, know where you are going, and appreciate where you have been--you will hopefully also become a happier and better person. As you learn from Harrison, he hopes he will become your mentor.

To read more career and life advice articles visit Harrison's personal blog.


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