You are reading these words in private. The people you are close to do not even know that you are struggling, scared about the shifting sand you find yourself standing on. Sure, over the years you had fleeting thoughts about being single again - every once in a while you were envious of the single guy you saw in the movies, your friends without kids who stay out late and sleep until whenever they want on the weekends, your younger brother who dates, travels, and scores great seats to the best games. This is not what you thought it would feel like. You are not liberated, you are terrified, empty, and lonely. Your wife was critical, demanding, and a shell of the fun-loving person she was ten years ago. But you miss her. Or, you miss something. You feel alone. You might not know if your kids wash their hair every day during bath time or when their last visit to the pediatrician was. But you know they need you, and you know that you need your own time with them. She knows this too, but there is a voice in the back of your head that reminds you that if things get ugly, they will be the ones that will suffer. She is a good mom, but she can be controlling and critical. They're good with her, but there is no way you are abandoning them. You also dread fighting the fight, and would avoid it at almost all costs.
